Bringing Things Under Control

Like most of us with busy schedules, Abundant Life Ministry tasks are just the beginning of things on today’s to-do list. There is a house to clean, a Bible Study to prepare for, a lesson on Psalm 46 to write, a birthday party to attend, and a family to connect with. I woke up early this morning and decided I would get ministry items done while the house was quiet. For a few hours, I edited the video portion of an upcoming podcast, ironically on feeling overwhelmed.  Since the entire podcast exceeds what my laptop can handle exporting, I’ve begun exporting the video in thirty-minute increments.  I was finally at the point of exporting, and rejoicing that, for once, I wasn’t going to lose the data that I’ve worked on, and I realized that I forgot to add to the beginning of the video, the video portion that includes our logos and introduces our volunteers. As I tried to add the video, I opened a prior project, and it wiped out all the content that I had worked so hard on.

Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now.  I don’t have time to do this again without sacrificing in other areas. I could cry right now.  For a time, when our ministry just released audio podcasts, it was smooth and easy. I could manage all the deadlines and live life. I just do not understand why moving to a video and audio podcast has been so challenging. Since we altered formats, I have felt completely overwhelmed and out of control. It feels as if it is one thing after the next to complete.

I’m usually very intentional heading into the New Year to focus on a topic, a word, or phrase in the Bible to know God more and to grow in His likeness. About midway through the year, I realized that I never selected a topic for 2025. If I need validation that I am overwhelmed and busy launching a new ministry, that is it. I have come to love being intentional because I can see so clearly God working and moving in my life. All is not lost however, because reflecting on the year, there is no doubt that the topic of emotions and what the Bible has to say about various emotions has been the theme.  Our ministry’s podcast has been focused on various emotions and the ministry that I am involved with at my church is teaching on the emotions found in the Psalms.

So often, the thought crosses my mind that it would be easier to not even have emotions, to skip that sinking feeling in your heart when you know you’ve done something that can’t be erased, or you are so worked up that you can’t stop your mouth from spewing forth hateful, untrue things.  But while our emotions require diligence to keep them in check, they are also our internal gauge that reveal either when we have a physical need that needs satisfied or whether our world around us conforms to what we want and when it doesn’t.  Sometimes, our emotions such as irritability, weariness, or frustration can be satisfied with a nap or with some food.  If our bodies have been properly taken care of, however, and our emotions are demanding notice, we should seek to understand what is causing us to feel this way. Is there a desire for control at work in some way?  Psalm 23 teaches us that the Lord, Our Shepherd, handles all our needs and that we lack nothing. All we need to do is move when He leads and rest when He makes us lie down in green pastures. Our role is to walk in the light and to abide. Psalm 46 teaches us that even when our earth teeters off its axis, we can BE STILL and KNOW that he is God. As I navigate Psalms, contemplate, and occasionally teach on these various emotions, I can’t help but wonder about the impact that our desire for control has on our emotions. After all, this morning I described how I was feeling as being out-of-control. When my physical control diminishes, my self-control often follows suit as my emotions rage out of control.

Psalm 1 

Blessed is the man    

who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

nor stands in the way of sinners,    

nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

² but his delight is in the law of the Lord,    

and on his law he meditates day and night.

³ He is like a tree    

planted by streams of water

that yields its fruit in its season,    

and its leaf does not wither.

In all that he does, he prospers.

⁴ The wicked are not so,    

but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,    

nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;

⁶ for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,    

but the way of the wicked will perish.

Psalm 1 promises that if I put my trust in God’s law, I am a well-fed, deeply rooted tree. I am not floating away. My life is not chaos that is carried away by windy whims. I am a branch with deep roots that can weather a storm and does not cease bearing fruit in me even in a draught season.  The season and the growing are not mine to control. The only thing I control is the choice to stop spiraling, to remain in the vine and to abide in him. A branch that is not connected to the tree is dead. It bears no fruit. The leaves wither and die. It is brittle and shatters when pressure is applied to it. A branch connected to the vine bends with pressure but is not easily broken. The image of a branch frequently detaching and attaching itself to the tree is ridiculous. The branch is either alive and thriving attached to the tree or dead and not connected to the tree. All too often, as believers, we dabble in both worlds, trying to be alive but disconnected from the tree. I can’t tell you how often who I approach in counsel reflects who I think will support how I feel and tell me what I want to hear. If I’m honest, I want to be the actor, the playwright, the director, and the producer of my own play. My emotions indicate that maybe I need to change the role I’m trying to play in my own story.

I didn’t start my day, as I usually do in God’s word communing with Him. I launched into editing to just cross an item off my list. There is goodness is doing for God, but it does not supersede being with God. I placed doing for God as a higher priority in my day, than spending time with God and rightly when I lost all that effort, I was extremely frustrated. God is not looking for us to be emotionless robots to do his bidding. He is looking for faithful citizens who long to be with Him and who bring all their emotions under submission to Him. Think about what trees need to live. Trees grow in fertile soil that has been watered. They gain their nutrients from the sun. Its roots hold the tree upright. Jesus, our living water, God’s SON, feeds the branches or His vine. We stand upright in judgment, because Jesus Himself, is holding us up. He gives us life. The Fruit of the Spirit is God’s fruit produced in us and come only from Him. We cannot produce them on our own.  God, forgive me, that I am moving as a detached, dead vine, not abiding. I relinquish control back to you. Calm my heart. My self-imposed deadlines are nothing compared to your timing.