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Updated: Aug 30
The Delay of Love
“Lord, he whom you love is ill.” That was the message sent to Jesus by Mary and Martha in John 11 regarding their brother Lazarus. Because Lazarus, Mary, and Martha were close friends of Jesus, one would naturally expect Jesus to rush to their side to ease their suffering.
Instead, we learn the exact opposite. Out of His deep love for them, Jesus delays His coming: “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days” (John 11:5–6). The word “so” in verse 6 links His deliberate pause directly to His love.
Understanding Grief and Human Nature
When facing profound grief, it is easy to compare ourselves to the reactions of Mary and Martha. Martha moves into action, running to meet Jesus and laying claim to what she knows, while Mary sits at home, completely undone.
So often, we dissect their actions and try to categorize ourselves as either “a Mary” or “a Martha.” In doing so, we risk missing Jesus at work in their lives—and thereby fail to see Him at work in our own. We critique our own weaknesses, envying the strength of the "doer" or identifying with the exhaustion of the one who has no strength left.
Equal Before the Savior
Despite their different responses to grief, both sisters are on equal footing before Jesus.
Both were in need of a Savior.
Both said the exact same words upon seeing Him: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Both had faith in His ability to heal, yet both had more to learn.
Neither sister initially understood that Jesus had the power to produce life, not just prevent death. Jesus used this moment to teach them that true comfort comes from knowing Him and placing trust in Him, rather than leaning on familiar coping mechanisms.
Key Takeaway: True comfort in the face of impossible grief does not come from our own strength or familiar habits, but from trusting Jesus as our Resurrection and Life, who meets us precisely where we are—whether we are running in our distress or completely undone.
A Prayer and Reflection
Lord, help me to focus on Your goodness instead of comparing myself to others. Teach me to run straight to You in my grief, holding onto what I know to be true while ruling nothing impossible for You. Open my ears to hear You calling when I am too weary, and thank You for entering into my grief to bring us from death to life.
(Note: We have included a reflection journal sheet because we want to encourage people to approach Jesus and ask Him questions, just as Mary and Martha did. Additionally, we have provided a link to a podcast about Mary and Martha if you wish to study this topic further.)
We have included a reflection journal sheet because we want to encourage people to approach Jesus and ask Him questions, just as Mary and Martha did.[https://static.wixstatic.com/media/895f23_ad71f957869d4a78b4bf27aea2e84e35~mv2.png]
Additionally, we have provided a link to a podcast episode about Mary and Martha if you wish to study this topic further. [https://soundcloud.com/angela-guy-955436747/alm-gathering-at-the-well-2?si=3fffeb65ace14dd1bc88f885957439c2&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing]
