Unrealized Dreams

It feels SO right, pulling me with its promise and persuasion.

The goodness and joy of my dreams is what I envision.

I desire it SO badly, it consumes like an addiction.

Holding hope, but denied what I want causes my affliction.

Focusing on what is before me is my constant distraction.

Doubting your plan for my life is my immediate reaction.

Your denial of this robs my breath. I feel the constriction.

Being told to rejoice when I'm empty is the contradiction.

God, How would you feel if you were me and in my position?

You tell me to rely on you and trust your provision.

I find myself viewing your goodness with growing suspicion.

My wants and your supply are in a head-on collision.

How can you take from me and BE love is my mind's reflection?

How can you keep from me and BE good is my honest impression?

If I can't hold my dreams then you aren't good is my assumption,

when my body was designed for this pleasure and consumption.

God, then you draw near and bring your goodness to my attention.

Not trusting completely in your goodness is my confession.

There is so much I do not understand is my concession.

Your ways and wisdom over my own is my selection.

Jesus, I yield to you, trusting you is my decision.

You sealed my future at the point of your crucifixion.

I'm willing to trust what I can't see. I give my submission.

You alone know what is good and perfect is my admission.

Thank you for your boundless grace and extending your affection.

 For not giving me up to my sins in wrathful rejection.

Thank you for not holding me in a place of derision.

Please! Turn my desires to you, away from selfish-ambition!